


We're Just Carbon and Bad Timing

by ummmmm (sumhowe_sailing)



Category: EOS 10 (Podcast)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mild Angst, lots of mutual pining, with an entirely predictable plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-16
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2019-02-15 15:59:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13034565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sumhowe_sailing/pseuds/ummmmm
Summary: When Akmazian said no one ever came just to visit, Dr. Dalias really took it to heart.





	We're Just Carbon and Bad Timing

**Author's Note:**

> Title adapted from a line by Neil Hilborn (though I can't remember which poem right now)

“Akmazian? Are you there? It’s me. Dr. Dalias. Hello?”

After several minutes of nothing but his own voice echoing off the walls of the empty cargo bay, Ryan assumed he was alone.

“Look, okay, if you _are_ there I guess I’ll just say what I came to say. And maybe you’ll hear it and maybe you won’t. Maybe I’ll come back and try again some other time. I just…was thinking. About how you said no one ever comes to visit you unless they want a favor. I’m sorry. I’ve been a terrible friend to you. I thought for so long you were a terrorist and then even when I believed you were innocent I guess I was already in the habit of…well, I’m sorry. That’s…that’s all I really wanted to say.”

…

“Although…if you’re really _not_ here…and if you were, I think you would have said something by now. You’re too…umm, I just don’t think you would let me talk this long without coming out of your shadows to harass me by now. So I guess I can just—just talk. I can just pretend to talk to you. Say all the things I want to that I don’t ever say _to you_ because you’re so infuriating and effortlessly, nonchalantly amazing and—. Actually, maybe this isn’t such a good idea. I…I think I’ll just go now. Maybe I’ll come visit again some time. … Bye, Akmazian. I’m sorry you weren’t here.”

 

~~~

 

“Hello? Akmazian, are you here? Don’t hide from me, please?”

…

“Okay, fine. I guess I missed you again. I guess you’re off threatening someone’s life or destroying another star system or, I don’t know, kidnapping a cat.” … “Really? Nothing? You’re honestly not here, are you? Well, that sucks. That really, really sucks. I don’t know, I guess I just got my hopes up today. I was so excited to see you and I was finally gonna tell you how I feel. Or at least I was gonna try to. After that airlock disaster last week I spent a lot of time thinking… I almost lost you. And I don’t think I could live with myself if I let you die without ever telling you how important you are to me. I really was going to tell you today. But I can’t. Because you’re not here. And now I don’t know if I’ll be able to say all this again. The timing won’t be right next time. Maybe there will be some new catastrophe and I’ll get another chance, but I don’t want to count on that. I don’t want to wait. I really wish you were here Akmazian.”

 

~~~

 

“Hey there, Mister ‘It’s so cold and lonely and no one ever comes to visit me’, how are you today? Here? Not here?”

…

“Of course you’re not. You know, maybe you wouldn’t complain so much if you knew how often I try to visit you. This is like, the eighth time I’ve been here just to say hello, and you’re never here. Where do you even go? Are you somewhere in eos10? Are you and the _Silent Storm_ having an adventure? Trying to find more evidence of your innocence? I hope so. I hope you find something. I hope we can get your name cleared. I really wish you could just come visit _me_ …just walk through the corridors together without me having to worry you’ll be arrested any second. Sure, the whole Robin Hood cloak thing works better than I ever thought it would, and sure, it’s kinda hot—oh shit, I hope you really aren’t here this time I didn’t mean to say that.”

There was no sudden laughter, no movement in the shadows. No reason to believe anyone had heard.

“Um, what was I talking about? Oh, right, _Silent Storm_. Adventure. Innocence. I wish I could be there with you. I didn’t appreciate it enough the first time I was on your ship. Or the second time. You know, the time you kidnapped me. I don’t think I really hated you at that point, but I definitely wasn’t happy to be there. I would be now, though. Why don’t we go an adventure together sometime? Just the two of us. You can set a course for anywhere you’d like, somewhere far, far away. And then we’ll have lots and lots of time to…maybe enough time for me to get enough courage together to actually say some of this to you.”

…

“I should go. I’m due in the infirmary in a little while. I’ll come again soon.”

 

~~~

 

The noise in the maintenance shaft was obvious from a hundred feet away. It gave him _more_ than enough time to get his cloak on and position himself in the shadows, plasma gun at the ready. Given the utter lack of anything like stealth, he doubted it was Alliance security officers, so the gun probably wouldn’t be necessary. Still, it never hurt to be prepared. He was still trying to guess whether this would be a black-market client or one of the Doctor’s group asking for another favor when he heard a knock on the interior wall of the cargo bay.

“What the hell?” he couldn’t help muttering under his breath.

When the knock got no response, the visitor rounded the corner regardless. Akmazian’s heart skipped a beat as he recognized Dr. Dalias—just him. No Jane, no Levi. Just Ryan. It took more self-control than he cared to admit to just stand there and not go say hello immediately.

“I know you’re here.”

Oh did he now?

“I do. You’re here. At least, you’d better be. I came all the way down here just to see you, the least you could do is _be_ here.”

“Just to see me, darlin’?”

“ _There_ you are ‘mazian. Was starting to think I’d gone to the wrong cargo bay.”

“Doctor, are you…alright?”

“Wh—r’diculous. Course I’m alright. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Coulda sworn I heard you were in surgery this mornin’.”

“Ha. ‘M a surgeon, course I was in the surgery.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Okay. Okayokayfine. I had a minor procad—proceed—process—thing. Minor thing today.”

“And you’re not in recovery right now because…?”

Ryan muttered something—Akmazian thought, or maybe just hoped, it sounded like ‘wanted to see you’—and swayed where he stood. He stepped closer, wrapping an arm around Ryan’s waist and pulling Ryan’s arm over his shoulder. He pointedly ignored the way his heart kept trying to beat out of his chest as he did so.

“Let’s get you back, darlin’. I think you need to lie down.”

“Yours.”

“What’s that?”

“Back to yours. Wanna be with you.”

“Doctor, flattered as I am, I don’t wanna be held accountable for how you’re gonna feel when the anesthetic wears off.”

“I’ll feel just like this.”

“I hate to disagree with you, dear, but I do.”

“No. No, I’ll still wanna be with you. Just won’t be brave enough to tell you so.”

Akmazian stopped abruptly, suddenly dizzy. Shit. Shit shit shit. Ryan was practically in his arms, as happy as Akmazian had ever seen him, and he’d just said—but he was definitely not sober right now and as desperately as he wanted to, this was not the time to kiss him.

“Darlin’, I promise, soon as you’re back to your charmin’ ol self, you are more’n welcome to spend all the time you want in my bed. But for now, let’s get you back to the infirmary before Jane comes lookin’ for you.”

 

~~~

 

“Akmazian? Are you there? Please, I need you to be here this time. I…I hate to say it, but I need a favor. I don’t need you to go anywhere or procure anything, legal or otherwise, or do anything dangerous. I just need you to tell me something.”

…

“Please, Akmazian, please, I need to talk to you. I need to know if…if what I think happened actually did. I _think_ you were really here last time I came by. I _think_ I finally told you how I feel about you. I _think_ you asked me to come back. Hell, I even think you promised to be here. But you’re not. You’re not here. Again. So if you aren’t here, then you didn’t promise to be here, did you? And if that part wasn’t real, the rest of it wasn’t either, was it? I’m sorry, Akmazian. I’m sorry I’m such a coward when it comes to you. But this isn’t entirely my fault, you know. Every time I see you now it’s when other people are around, and you can’t expect me to tell you I lo—have feelings for you—in front of Jane, can you? I’ve been trying. I really have. I’ve been coming down here to visit you, to try to talk to you alone, and you’re never here. I know you’re a busy guy, you have a lot going on. Maybe I overestimated how important I am to you. It’s just…from day one, I haven’t seen you flirt with anyone else the way you do with me. You’ve always been there when I needed you for anything—anything but this. You’re never here when I need you around to just be you. Maybe it’s just part of some character you’re playing and you really have been here the whole time, you just hide from me because you don’t actually want to be a part of this. That’s fair. But if that’s the case, you need to tell me so. Until you do, I’m going to keep trying. I’m going to keep coming back for you.”

 

~~~

 

It had been two weeks since the good doctor had dropped into his cargo bay, high as a kite on anesthetics. He’d managed to get him back to the infirmary, into a bunk, safe and sound, apparently before anyone even noticed he’d been gone. He hadn’t seen him since.

Maybe the doctor had thought the whole thing had been a hallucination. Or maybe he’d just forgotten it had happened. Or maybe once he sobered up and remembered it all, he just… changed his mind. He couldn’t really blame him for that. Still, those first few days he’d been on fire with hope. At first he had convinced himself that Ryan hadn’t come back because he was still recovering—and then because he was catching up on his work—and then he’d realized that Ryan just wouldn’t be coming back.

Until…until he heard the footsteps in the maintenance shaft. Not recklessly loud and clumsy like the last time. Hope sprang to life again, but in the interest of prudence he donned his cloak and darted into the deepest shadows once more. This time there was no knock before Dr. Dalias rounded the corner, but his heart went through the same song and dance routine as always. He was just about to go try to sweep him off his feet—when the doctor started talking. Curiosity kept him in place.

“Okay, Akmazian, I know you’re probably not here. You never are. But I said I would keep coming back, and I will. One of these days, you’ll be here. Today, maybe?”

What the hell? Was he…did he do this often? Did he…?  
“I thought not. I’m sorry I missed you again. Honestly, I don’t know how you manage to keep up such a flourishing black market when you’re never here. I almost thought about asking Levi to talk to you, to make sure you’d be here the next time I dropped by. How ridiculous is that?”

Very.

“I don’t know why _he_ can always find you, but I never can. If anyone, I’d think you’d be avoiding him. But I didn’t ask him. He’d tell Jane I wanted to meet you in secret and she’d make all kinds of assumptions. She’d be right, of course, but that doesn’t make it any better.”

Alright, officially, _what the hell_?!

“And anyway, I’ve kind of gotten used to this. It’s…sort of comforting. To be able to just come down here and talk. Even if you’re not there to hear me, I still feel better just saying things out loud. The kind of things I can’t tell Jane or Levi…I definitely can’t tell Dr. Urvidian. I wish I could tell you though.”

“Tell me what?”

It took a solid five minutes for Dr. Dalias to stop yelling at him for surprising him like that, for invading his privacy by listening in, for being such a drama-loving asshole. Akmazian bore it all with astonishing self-control and complacence. When the doctor finally paused to breathe, Akmazian repeated his question.

“So what was it you wanted to tell me, darlin’?”

“Not now. I don’t want to tell you now.”

“Awww, Dr. Dalias, don’t be like that. Look, I formally apologize for not announcin’ myself sooner. You caught me off-guard, if you’ll believe it. But you didn’t say anything too incriminating. Just that you wanted to talk to me. So, pretty please, won’t you tell me what you wanted to talk about? Or do I have to go through my security system to find recordings of any previous house-calls from my favorite doctor?”

“You have recordings?” Ryan looked utterly terrified.

“I have a recording surveillance system in place. Never usually bother to check it, but maybe I need to start being more proactive. Why, somethin’ I shouldn’t hear on there?”

“Fine. If I tell you, will you promise to delete the recordings—without listening to them first?”

“Mmmm, that’s a mighty big request, Doctor. What’s on there that you’re so eager for me not to hear?”

“I just…I’ve been…visiting.”

“Visitin’ me?” Akmazian drawled, fluttering his eyelashes.

“Trying to. You’re never here.”

“I’m here now. You can tell me now.”

“I—I don’t know if I can.”

“Will it help if I go hide again and you pretend I’m not here?”

“Shut up. Fine, alright, I’ve been coming by to try to tell you…well, lots of things. At first I was just going to apologize for not visiting you, for only coming by to ask for favors, but I don’t really feel like that still applies. I _am_ sorry that we don’t get to just talk more. And…”

“And?”

“Are you really gonna make me say it?”

“Honey, I’m only human. Well, mostly. I can’t read your mind.”

“I like you,” he blurted out at last. “A lot. You’re kind of a pain in the ass, but I don’t want to keep pretending I don’t have feelings for you.”

“Well, darlin’, you sure do know how to charm a man.”

“Shut up.”

“You said it better last time.”

“I—wh—?” Ryan blustered a few minutes before Akmazian finally stopped laughing long enough to explain.

“The day of your little procedure. You came down here to say hello. I didn’t realize you’d made a habit of it.”

“Then—that wasn’t all a dream?”

“I certainly thought it must be. The most handsome man in the galaxy stumbled into my cargo bay and told me he wanted to be with me? Had to be dreamin’. And I kept waiting, hoping you’d come back—”

“I did!”

“When?”

“A week ago. Three days ago. Today.”

“That often?”

“Where were you?”

“I—huh. I was only out of here an hour at a time these last two weeks. What’d you do, wait til I was gone before sneaking in?”

“No. What, did you have a look out and you ran as soon as you heard I was coming?”

The absurdity of it all struck them both, and a moment later they were laughing so hard they could barely breathe. When they finally calmed down, Akmazian held out his hand, and, still giddy, Ryan took it. Akmazian pulled him closer and in a trice had the doctor folded in his arms. Finally.

“Darlin’, can I kiss you now?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

The first kiss was everything he’d hoped it would be. The second was even better. And soon he lost count. All he knew was that he was in Akmazian’s arms, safe and warm and happy, being kissed breathless by the man he loved. The man he’d loved for months now. This was the moment he’d spent so long chasing after, so many hours in an empty room talking to—

“Akmazian?”

“Mmm? What is it, love?”

“Does this mean you’ll delete those recordings?”

“Recordings?”

“Your surveillance recordings. The ones you just told me about?”

“Oh, darlin’,” Akmazian chuckled, “there aren’t any. I just told you that to speed the conversation along.”

Before he could splutter in pointless fury for more than a few seconds, Akmazian bent down to kiss him quiet again. All things considered, Ryan thought he could forgive him just this once.

**Author's Note:**

> I just found this podcast a week ago and I've already listened to the whole thing twice. I love these nerds so much (also how does one end a fic???)


End file.
